Monday, February 28, 2011

"I Will Video Myself Watching Myself Write This Poem" is a funny poem

"I Will Video Myself Watching Myself Write This Poem" is a funny poem.

"I did not shop on Black Friday" is funny because you're supposed to. "Because little boys would trample me" is funny because they are little boys but they are trampling. "For VCRs at Best Buy" is funny because what year was this written. The XX has a funny song called "VCR" which is funny because they were born after the VCR was extinct. I don't know when Ofelia was born. "I would hamstring these boys" is funny because I like ham. I had a ham sandwich for lunch. Also violence against children is funny. "Then tear their throats out and scream" see? "Until they became zombies" used to be funny but is not as funny as it used to be. "And lurched toward me" is funny because the word "lurch" is funny. It is a portmanteau of lean, burp and crouch. "Through the strip-mall shopping center" might not be funny. If it is funny, it has something to do with "strip-mall." That could be funny. "I would scream and run very fast" is not funny. "And trip over somebody's parents" is very funny. "And the zombies would slowly feast on my blood" is funny even if zombies aren't as funny anymore. It's still funny that they do everything slowly, even feast. "I knew all this would happen" is almost funny. "So I went to Denny's with my boyfriend instead" is funny because Denny's is funny. "For pancakes and coffee" is hysterical. "And we saw Tom Cruise and his baby" is uncomfortably funny. "And I stole his baby I told the baby" is increasingly discomfortably funny. Not funnier, but less comfortable. ""You are important you are a terrorist" is not funny because it is the truth. "Because one baby is like any other baby" is not funny as it was the first time I'd read it in something else by Ofelia. "And baby terrorists are more effective" is not funny again, less funny because we already know that. "Than non-baby terrorists" is actually kind of funny. "But the baby cried for a while" is funny because I hate babies. "So we left it in a bed of lettuce at Safeway" is really really really funny. "And Tom Cruise became a zombie" is not funny because it is true. "And feasted on our blood" is moderately funny. "But I filmed him and black-mailed him" is building up to being funny. "And now I'm on cable television" is the funniest.

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